When my butt looks great

"Thence he went rejoicing in his booty"

- Beowulf

WHEN A DUDE ASKS WHAT I LIKE TO DO IN BED I’M LIKE

"Lay down. Lay down like an animal and wait."

- Charles Bukowski, You Get So Alone at Times That it Just Makes Sense

WHEN I PULL UP TO THAT CLUB I’M LIKE

“‘Why O why did I ever leave my hobbit-hole?’ said poor Mr. Baggins, bumping up and down on Bombur’s back.”

- J.R.R. Tolkein, The Hobbit

WHEN I ENCOUNTER SOMEONE FROM COLLEGE WHO IS DOING MUCH BETTER THAN ME I’M LIKE

“‘You bitch,’ he said. ‘You rich bitch. That’s poetry. I’m full of poetry now. Rot and poetry. Rotten poetry.’”

- Ernest Hemingway, The Snows of Kilimanjaro

WHEN I’M TRYING TO TELL MY BOY THAT I LOVE HIM I’M LIKE

“‘Fish,’ he said softly, aloud, ‘I’ll stay with you until I am dead.’”

- Ernest Hemingway, The Old Man and the Sea

AFTER I TELL A BOY I LIKE HIM AND GET REJECTED I’M LIKE

“Don’t ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.” 
― J.D. SalingerThe Catcher in the Rye

WHENEVER I AM WATCHING GREASE AND DANNY ZUKO’S ON SCREEN IM JUST LIKE

“And Lo, for the Earth was empty of Form, and void. And Darkness was all over the Face of the Deep. And We said: ‘Look at that fucker Dance.” 

- David Foster Wallace, Infinite Jest

WHEN (AGAINST ALL ODDS) I AM IN THE BED OF A STRAIGHT UP DANNY ZUKO HOTTIE I’M LIKE

"He was warm, partly because he had on so many layers, and partly because boys who are part wolf and part wind do not get cold."

- Dave Eggers, The Wild Things

WHEN I COMPARE MY LIFE NOW TO WHAT I ALWAYS EXPECTED IT TO BE I’M LIKE

“We did everything adults would do. What went wrong?”

- William F. Golding, Lord of the Flies

WHEN ANYONE MENTIONS THEIR POSITIVE RELATIONSHIP WITH THEIR DAD I’M LITERALLY ALWAYS LIKE

“Do you think your fathers are watching? That they weigh you in their ledgerbook? Against what? There is no book and your fathers are dead in the ground.”

- Cormac McCarthy, The Road